Navigating and cultivating your mindset effectively creates a positive ripple effect across your personal and professional life, and results-oriented people need to harness that effect. This isn’t just a belief.  It’s a transformative approach that can redefine your journey towards success.

The mistake some results-oriented people make

Some people try to bully themselves into creating the results they want.   That might be effective in the short term, but it can be incredibly detrimental and ineffective in the long run.  Let’s talk about why.

Here are just a few of the harmful things people can do when they bully themselves into creating results.

Put immense pressure on themselves to succeed or overdeliver

Some self-imposed pressure can be positive and even productive.  However, unhealthy levels of pressure can increase stress, reduce focus and problem-solving, and even have an adverse impact on your health.

Create high-stakes consequences that make failure feel worse than it has to

People may focus on (or even invent) potential adverse outcomes associated with failing.  For example:

• “If I fail, everyone will think I’m a loser.”
• “If I fail, I’ll never forgive myself.”
• “If I fail, it will be proof to me that I am just not good enough to xyz.”

No pressure there, right?

Creating these kinds of high-stakes consequences has a few serious drawbacks.

First, it adds an extra layer of pressure, fear, and stress to the situation.  Second, it paints failure as being unbearable, when in reality, that’s almost never the case.

Sure, failure can feel uncomfortable, embarrassing, and have very real consequences.  However, those emotions and consequences are almost always survivable.  However, when you set the stakes high, your brain equates failure with utter devastation and existential threat, which is rarely the reality.

Damage their self-confidence and self esteem through negative self-talk

One of the most heartbreaking ways that results-oriented people can bully themselves is through negative self-talk.  Being hard on yourself can seem like a tough or no-nonsense approach.  However, it’s often incredibly detrimental.

There’s nothing wrong with being results-oriented.  In fact, it can be a huge asset in terms of creating the life and business or career you want.  However, It can become detrimental when you love the idea of the results more than you love yourself.

People who are results-oriented, high achievers, and those with perfectionistic behaviors can be particularly prone to negative self-talk.  Research shows that negative self-talk has a very similar emotional and psychological impact as the same words would have if they were coming from another person.

In other words, when you talk and think negatively about yourself, it’s about as damaging as having another person talk negatively about you to your face.

Can you imagine someone saying to you:

• “Your work sucks.”
• “You aren’t good enough.”
• “You don’t deserve this.  You’re crazy to think it was possible.”
• “You’re such an idiot.  Why did you say/do that?”
• “Why can’t you figure this out?  You’re such an incompetent loser.”

For most of us, it would feel incredibly hurtful to hear those words from someone else.  But it’s also damaging when we say them to ourselves.

This isn’t about lying to yourself about your skills or abilities, or pretending that you’re doing great when you aren’t.  Instead, it’s about coaching and managing yourself from a foundation of love, respect, and compassionate accountability.

An important takeaway

If you take nothing else away from this today, please remember this:

Your relationship with yourself is the most important human relationship you will ever have. That’s because it impacts every other relationship in your life. It also impacts how you show up and react in your work, your personal life, and every other aspect of your existence. How you think about and talk to yourself are the basis of your relationship with yourself.

If negative self-talk is an issue for you, please consider changing it, starting today.  If that’s something you’d like help with, please reach out to me.

Clearly, bullying yourself into creating the results you want isn’t the answer.  There HAS to be a better way.  And there is.

The future I see for results-oriented people

I envision a future where high-achieving, results-oriented people won’t have to bully themselves into producing.  Instead, they’ll choose to harness the power of mastering their mindset, and enjoy the positive ripple effect it creates in terms of their personal and business success.

They’ll learn the skills to effectively navigate the mental and emotional ups and downs of business and life.  They’ll be their own biggest supporter instead of their greatest critic.  They will even approach challenges and setbacks with zeal and determination, instead of fear and self-criticism.

Instead of putting immense pressure on themselves to succeed, they’ll learn how to navigate and master their mindset.  They’ll coach themselves toward success in ways that don’t add to their stress.

Rather than creating impossibly high stakes for themselves, they’ll assess situations and take action from a calm, self-confident, and resilient mindset.

Instead of putting themselves down, they’ll build themselves up.

The shift has already started

The move away from self-bullying and toward mindset mastery is already taking place.  We’ve seen an emphasis on self-care for many years now.  Thought leaders in business and wellness are increasingly recognizing the essential role that mindset and cognitive-emotional management play in both personal and professional success.

Online business magnate Amy Porterfield has shared how she struggled with comparison, and the shifts she was able to make in her mindset.

People like Mel Robbins, Brendan Burchard, and Brene Brown frequently share their own experiences and insights around mindset and mental health.

And finally, more and more people are embracing therapy, coaching, and personal development to enhance both their inner world and their experiences and interactions with the outer world.

The solution (and what could happen without it)

The solution is clear:  Results-oriented people need to harness the power of navigating and mastering their mindset.  In doing so, they’ll be able to face challenges and take action without all the extra mental and emotional muck that comes from trying to self-bully their way to success.

But what’s at risk if results-oriented people choose not to develop the skills to navigate and master their mindset?

Many of them will continue to try and bully themselves toward success.  That might work in the short term, but it has dire long-term consequences.  Continuing to engage in self-bullying behavior over time adds extra stress, damages your self-esteem and self-confidence, and can even negatively impact your health.

Our job as results-oriented people

As results-oriented people, it’s our job to move away from the thinking and behavioral patterns of bullying ourselves.  It’s our responsibility, for the sake of our future, to learn how to navigate and master our mindset in healthy, productive ways.  We are called to coach ourselves to become the version of ourselves we’re meant to be.

That doesn’t happen through bullying, putting ourselves down, or scaring ourselves into producing results.  Rather, it comes from learning to build a resilient, focused mindset, and coaching ourselves to the greatness we know we’re capable of.

Are you with me?

In 10 to 15 years, having the skills to effectively navigate and master your mindset won’t just be seen as something that’s nice to have.  Instead, it’ll be considered an essential and strategic aspect of personal and professional success. If you’re ready to move away from bullying yourself and toward a resilient, focused mindset, just know that change is coming.  Know, too, that you have the power to enact that change for yourself as an individual.