Nervous system regulation is one of those buzzwords that seems to be everywhere right now. If you’ve been hearing about it and thinking, That sounds helpful, but where do I even start? You’re in the right place.
The good news is that nervous system regulation doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t need to become an expert overnight or create a perfect routine to begin. You just need a few simple starting points and a willingness to be open and experiment a little.
When you take care of your nervous system, you can think more clearly, feel less stressed, and build self-confidence more easily. When you make nervous system regulation a part of your life, you start feeling more in control and responding with intention instead of living at the mercy of whatever state your mind and body happen to be in.
Before I share the 5 steps to get started with nervous system regulation, let’s talk briefly about what nervous system regulation is and why it’s important.
What Is Nervous System Regulation?
At a basic level, nervous system regulation means noticing what’s happening in your mind and body, understanding the state your system is in, and use practical tools to move yourself toward a calmer, more manageable place.
Sometimes your nervous system is in a place where you feel clear, present, and able to think. Other times, you might notice yourself feeling on edge, restless, panicky, shut down, foggy, or disconnected. Nervous system regulation helps you recognize those states earlier and respond in a way that supports you.
Nervous system regulation is also important because without it, the mindset work that’s integral to building self-confidence doesn’t work. When your nervous system is dysregulated, you may know what you should say or do, but still struggle to actually do it in the moment.
Okay, now that you know what nervous system regulation is, let’s talk about some ways to start using it today.
1. Practice Watching What’s Happening in Your Mind and Body
The first step is foundational because it’s the first thing you’ll do any time you’re regulating your nervous system. It’s all about the signals your body and brain are sending you.
When you’re moving toward severe stress, overwhelm, shutdown, disengagement or other stress response states, chances are your brain and body are already sending you signals long before you actually get there. You just may not fully know how to interpret or respond to them yet.
The first step is to practice watching yourself in terms of what’s happening in your mind and body.
To practice and build this skill, start noticing things like:
- what’s happening in your mind
- sensations you’re feeling in your body
- racing thoughts
- muscle tension
- shallow or rapid breathing
- heaviness
- restlessness
- irritability
- fogginess
- numbness
- feeling checked out
- feeling jittery or on edge
- calmness
- focus
- feeling relaxed and at ease
- feeling well-energized and in-control
When you recognize how you’re feeling and the direction you’re moving in earlier, you can intervene sooner instead of waiting until you’re super amped up or totally shut down. That means you’ll suffer less and feel in control more.
2. Name Your Nervous System State
Once you start noticing the signals your mind and body are sending you, the next step is to make sense of them.
A lot of women know they feel off, overwhelmed, super stressed, or shut down, but they don’t have a clear framework for what that actually means. When everything just feels like stress, it’s harder to respond to yourself in a helpful way because you don’t know what kind of support you need in that particular moment.
Step two is to name your state.
Here are three states your nervous system can be in, and where I place them on a scale of 1-10:
- 10 – Fight or flight: On edge, irritated, panicky, restless, fidgety
- 5 – Window of tolerance: Calm, present, clear-minded, steady, able to think, generally feeling well
- 1 – Freeze: Numb, stuck, disconnected, exhausted, foggy, shut down
When you notice what’s happening in your mind and body (step 1) and use that information to identify the state your nervous system is in (step 2), you have enough information to move your nervous system in the direction you want to go through regulation.
If your nervous system is in fight or flight mode, you’ll downregulate toward the window of tolerance.
If your nervous system is in freeze mode, you’ll upregulate toward the window of tolerance.
If you’re tempted to overthink this, don’t. A great way to start doing this is to check in with yourself several times throughout the day and ask where you’re at on that scale from 1-10. Becoming aware of where your nervous system is on the scale makes it easier to decide which signals to send back to your body to help regulate your nervous system toward the window of tolerance.
3. Identify Environmental Factors That Impact Your Nervous System
Your nervous system responds to more than your thoughts and feelings. It also responds to your environment.
Sometimes women assume they’re just bad at handling stress, when the truth is that their environment is putting their nervous system under pressure all day long.
Here are just a few of the environmental factors that can impact your nervous system:
- noise
- clutter
- poor sleep
- conflict
- interruptions
- overstimulation
- understimulation
- lighting
- the pace of your day
- certain spaces or people
It’s also important to notice things that positively impact on your nervous system. That might include things like:
- quiet
- natural light
- time outside
- supportive people
- a slower pace
- a tidy space
- music
- rest
- routines that help you feel more in-control
- Exercise or other movement
So step three is to identify environmental factors that impact your nervous system.
When you begin noticing what tends to leave you feeling more stressed, scattered, tense, or drained, and what tends to help you feel more calm and in-control, you can make small changes that support your nervous system instead of constantly working against it.
4. Experiment With Nervous System Regulation Techniques
This step is important because nervous system regulation is personal. What works wonders for my nervous system may not work well for your nervous system at all.
People might hear about a technique, try it once or twice, and decide it didn’t work. That can make nervous system regulation feel frustrating or inaccessible when, really, they just haven’t built a toolbox of techniques that fit them, their nervous system, and the situations they find themselves in.
Step four, then, is to experiment with different nervous system regulation techniques to find the ones that work for you.
While specific nervous system techniques are a whole category unto themselves, here’s a quick list of some tools you can explore:
- movement
- stepping outside
- intentional breathing with long, slower exhales for downregulation
- specific breathing techniques for upregulation
- stretching
- music
- cold water
- grounding through touch
- sensory support
- spending time with other people or pets, or having time to yourself
It’s also helpful to have a variety of tools that you can use for different nervous system states and situations. Some tools need to be quick and discreet enough to use in the moment or in public places. Others may take more time, such as a bath, taking a longer walk, or doing a stretching routine.
As you build your own toolbox, keep exploring and experimenting. Ask yourself, What helps me feel even a little bit better when I’m outside my window of tolerance?
If you want deeper support with this kind of work, this is something I help my clients with inside my one-on-one coaching program, The Self-Confidence Edit.
5. Practice Nervous System Regulation in Everyday Life
This final step can make nervous system regulation more consistent and sustainable because it becomes a lifestyle instead of just something you think about and try every once in a while.
Nervous system regulation is both harder to learn and less effective over time when you only reach for it during moments of overwhelm, extreme stress, or shutdown. It’s kind of like waiting to drink water until you’re severely dehydrated. It’s a lot easier to support your body when you’re doing it consistently along the way.
So step five is to layer nervous system regulation techniques into your everyday life.
Just like drinking water regularly throughout the day helps you stay hydrated, using simple nervous system regulation techniques throughout your day can help you support your body more consistently and effectively over time.
That might look like checking in with yourself on that scale from 1-10 and using nervous system regulation practices:
- in the morning
- before work
- during work
- after work
- before, during, or after meetings
- before bed
- in the car
- during transitions
- on a walk
Look for small, repeatable regulation practices that help you move closer to your window of tolerance on a regular basis. Regular practice over time can help nervous system regulation feel more natural and more sustainable.
That’s also one of the reasons this connects so strongly to self-confidence. When your nervous system is well-supported, it becomes easier to pause, think clearly, respond with intention, and trust yourself in situations where you want to feel self-confident.
Final Thoughts on Getting Started With Nervous System Regulation
If you’re just getting started with nervous system regulation, don’t overcomplicate it.
- Start by noticing what’s happening in your mind and body.
- Name your state on the scale of 1-10… freeze, window of tolerance, or fight-or-flight.
- Pay attention to your environment and how it’s impacting your nervous system, for better or worse. Experiment with nervous system regulation tools to find the right ones for you. Begin layering what works into your everyday life, so it becomes a lifestyle.
That’s how nervous system regulation becomes something practical and useful instead of abstract. When you support your nervous system, it changes not only your stress levels, but also your self-confidence, self-trust, and the way you show up in real life.
If you’d like support applying nervous system regulation in a practical, personal way and connecting it to greater self-confidence, schedule a coaching consultation so we can talk about the right next step for you.
