You’re tired of wondering how to feel more confident.

You’re smart, capable, and accomplished.

On paper, you should feel confident.
You’ve collected degrees, certifications, awards, and gold stars.

But inside, it still feels like massive self-doubt.

Maybe you:

• Second-guess yourself after meetings
• Re-read emails three times before hitting send
• Are the person everyone else sees as “confident,” yet you quietly feel like you’re never quite enough

So, you Google things like “how to feel more confident” or “steps to feel more confident,” hoping there’s a simple list you can follow.

Here’s the truth I teach my clients:

Chances are, you don’t really have a confidence problem. You have a self-confidence problem. Many people use these terms interchangeably, but they’re not the same thing.

• Confidence is based on past evidence: “I’ve done this before; I know I can do it again.”
• Self-confidence is based on belief: “No matter what comes my way, I trust myself to figure it out.”

Most high-achieving women I coach don’t need more proof that they’re capable.
They need a way to trust themselves in the moments when fear, self-doubt, and what-ifs show up and shut them down.

That’s why I created my 3P Self-Confidence Method.

What Is the 3P Self-Confidence Method?

The 3P Self-Confidence Method is a step-by-step process to build real, sustainable self-confidence by working on three key areas:

Shifting your self-Perception, building belief in your Potential to navigate whatever comes your way, and reframing your Perspective on what others think of you.

In practice, here’s how that looks:

1. Perception: Change how you see and talk to yourself, so you’re rooted in self-leadership and self-compassion instead of harsh self-judgment.
2. Potential: Build trust in your ability to handle what life throws at you, even when you’ve never done it before or don’t know how it will turn out.
3. Perspective: Loosen the grip of other people’s opinions, so you can make decisions that align with your values instead of people-pleasing your way to burnout and resentment.

Underneath all three of these is an important foundation:

A quick word on nervous system regulation

Throughout the 3P Method, we integrate nervous system regulation:  Simple, body-based strategies to calm the fear and self-doubt that keep showing up even though you know you “should” feel more confident.

In other words, we don’t just work with your thoughts; we also work with your body’s stress response, so the mindset work can actually stick.

I often refer to a practice I teach called Regulate, Reassure, Respond, and a concept I call your internal Security Guard.  She’s the vigilant part of you that’s trying to protect you from embarrassment, failure, or rejection. In this article, I’ll mention them briefly and point you to other resources if you want a deeper dive.

For now, let’s walk through each “P” so you can see how they work together to help you feel more confident from the inside out.

P1: Perception: How To Feel More Confident By Shifting How You See Yourself

Core question: How do I talk to myself when I’m struggling, making mistakes, or trying something new?

For many high-achieving women, Perception is where the pain lives.

You’ve spent years motivating yourself with harsh criticism, sky-high standards, and “do it right or don’t do it at all” thinking. It’s worked well enough to get you where you are… but internally, it’s exhausting.  And it hurts.

The problem under Perception

Your perfectionism and self-judgment are costing you time, energy, and opportunities.

Common inner thoughts sound like:

• “I have to get this absolutely perfect before I can submit it.”
• “I have no business applying for that promotion… other people are way more qualified.”
• “I can’t believe how awkward I am in conversations.”

You might look confident on the outside, but on the inside you feel like you’re always replaying your mistakes, bullying yourself to constantly prove your worth, and demanding that you exceed expectations 100% of the time.

A client story: Letting go of perfect to make room for impact

One of my clients constantly pressured herself to do everything perfectly at work. She stayed late revising presentations, reworked emails multiple times, and felt tense in every meeting because she was mentally critiquing herself in real time.

Through coaching, we:

• Helped her notice and name the perfectionistic thoughts driving her stress.
• Practiced nervous system regulation tools to calm her body when those thoughts spiked.
• Replaced “I must be perfect” with beliefs rooted in self-leadership and self-compassion.

She learned to allow herself to be imperfect and still impactful. Her work quality stayed high, but her stress, overworking, and self-criticism dropped significantly.

What this might look like in your life

Perception work often looks like:

• Catching yourself mid-spiral and shifting from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What’s happening for me right now?”
• Sending a draft that’s at 95% instead of obsessing over the last 5%.
• Talking to yourself the way you’d talk to a trusted friend instead of an internal enemy.

As we shift your Perception, the goal isn’t to turn you into a different person. Instead, the goal is to help you become a kinder, more effective leader of your own mind and emotions.

P2: Potential: How To Feel More Confident By Trusting Yourself to Navigate Whatever Comes Up

Core question: Do I trust myself to get through whatever happens, even if I can’t control the outcome?

Potential is not about “having potential” in the way you’ve probably heard your whole life.

In the 3P Method, Potential is about shifting from performance and perfection to self-trust.

Instead of “I must execute flawlessly,” we build “I trust myself to navigate this, even if it’s messy and imperfect.”  It simply means that you believe in your potential to get through any situation.

The shift inside Potential

When you’re caught in perfectionism, every new opportunity feels like a test you could fail. As a result, you:

• Stay in your comfort zone
• Avoid risks
• Wait until you feel “ready” (which never really comes, because “ready” is often a moving goalpost)

Potential work asks you to practice being bold before you feel ready but with support, self-compassion, and nervous system regulation underneath.

Examples include:

• Initiating a tough conversation you’ve been avoiding, because you believe you can handle discomfort.
• Volunteering to go first in a meeting without rehearsing every word in your head.
• Trying a new hobby or activity simply to enjoy it, not to be perfect at it.

A client story: From fear of failure to courageous leadership

One of my clients longed to step into more visible leadership roles, but she was terrified of failing in front of others. She told herself, “If I mess this up, they’ll never see me the same way again.”

Together, we:

• Identified the deeper beliefs driving her fear of failure.
• Used nervous system regulation to help her stay grounded when she felt exposed or on the spot.
• Practiced new thoughts like, “I can handle it if this doesn’t go perfectly,” and “Every leader learns by doing, not by hiding.”

Over time, her self-confidence and self-trust deepened. She began saying “yes” to opportunities she’d been avoiding for years and developed her leadership skills with a new sense of boldness and courage… not because the fear disappeared, but because she trusted herself to navigate it.

Is this sounding familiar?

If you’re reading this and thinking, “This is exactly me,” The 3P Self-Confidence Method is the backbone of my 12-week one-on-one coaching program, The Self-Confidence Edit.

You’re welcome to book a free consultation where we’ll talk through your situation, your goals, and whether The Self-Confidence Edit is a good fit for you.

P3: Perspective: How To Feel More Confident By Reframing What Others Think of You

Core question: Whose opinion is driving my decisions: Mine, or everyone else’s?

You can have a healthy Perception of yourself and growing Potential, but still be held back by one thing:

The fear of what other people might think.

Perspective work in the 3P Method focuses on releasing the grip of other people’s opinions and redefining what success and approval mean in your life.

The problem under Perspective

When Perspective is off, you might:

• Overthink conversations for days, replaying what you said and wondering, “Did I come off wrong?”
• Say “yes” to things you don’t have capacity for because you don’t want to disappoint people.
• Go along with what others want, then feel resentful later because you never voiced what you needed.

On the surface, this can look like being kind, flexible, or a “team player.” Internally, it often feels like you’re disappearing inside your own life.

A client story: Redefining success as a manager

One of my clients, a manager, spent a lot of time worrying about what her team thought of her. Every decision felt loaded:

• “If I hold them accountable, they’ll think I’m too harsh.”
• “If I’m too understanding, they’ll think I’m weak.”

We worked together to:

• Clarify her values and what she wanted her leadership to stand for.
• Reframe her assumptions about her employees’ opinions.
• Use nervous system regulation tools to stay steady when hard conversations came up.

As she shifted her Perspective, she began defining success less as “everyone likes me” and more as “I lead with fairness, clarity, and care.” Her decisions became more grounded and less reactive, and her relationships at work improved as a result.

What this might look like in your life

Perspective work can show up as:

• Saying “no” to a request and staying present in your body instead of spiraling in guilt.
• Allowing someone to be disappointed without making it mean you’re a bad person.
• Choosing what you want in your career or personal life, even if other people don’t understand it.

When Perception, Potential, and Perspective work together, you build a form of self-confidence that isn’t so easily shaken by other people’s reactions.

How Your Nervous System Comes Into Play… And Why We Bring Along for the Ride

Throughout all three Ps, your nervous system comes with you.

If your body’s stress response is constantly in overdrive, you can read all the mindset tips in the world and still feel like nothing changes.

That’s why the 3P Method integrates nervous system regulation as a through-line:

• Perception: When self-criticism spikes, we first help your body come down from red alert, then work with your thoughts and feelings.
• Potential: When you take a bold step (speaking up, going first, trying something new), we use body-based tools to help you lean into the vulnerability instead of retreating.
• Perspective: When you risk disappointing someone or being misunderstood, we calm the physical sensations of fear or guilt so you can stay aligned with your values.

I often teach clients a simple sequence called Regulate, Reassure, Respond:

1. Regulate: Use a nervous system regulation tool to calm your body.
2. Reassure: Talk to yourself in a grounded, supportive way.
3. Respond: Choose how you want to move forward from a more centered place.

If you’ve tried mindset work before and struggled to make it stick, this body-first integration is often the missing piece.

Coaching, of course, is not a replacement for medical or counseling support.  However, it can be a powerful complement when you’re ready to build self-confidence in a structured, forward-focused way.

Bringing It All Together: How the 3P Method Helps You Learn How To Feel More Confident

When you first search “how to feel more confident,” it’s easy to think the answer is more tips, more achievements, or more positive thinking.

The 3P Self-Confidence Method goes much deeper:

• Perception: You learn to shift from harsh self-judgment to effective self-leadership and self-compassion, so you’re not your own worst critic.
• Potential: You build trust in your ability to navigate whatever comes up, so you can take bold action even when you can’t predict the outcome.
• Perspective: You loosen the grip of other people’s opinions, so your decisions are driven by your values, not fear of disappointment or disapproval.
• Nervous system regulation: You care for your nervous system throughout the process, so the mindset changes actually take root.

This is how you move from:

“I look confident on the outside, but I feel like I’m not enough on the inside,”

to:

“I love and lead myself, and I trust myself to handle whatever life throws at me.”

Ready to Explore This Work Together?

If you recognize yourself in this article and you’re ready for guided, structured support, I’d love to talk with you.

The Self-Confidence Edit is my 12-week one-on-one coaching program built around the 3P Self-Confidence Method. Together, we’ll:

• Unpack the patterns that are quietly draining your self-confidence.
• Integrate nervous system regulation with mindset work, so the changes actually last.
• Help you feel as confident on the inside as you already appear on the outside.

If that resonates, your next step is simple:

Click here to schedule a free consultation.

We’ll talk about what you’re struggling with, where you want to go, and whether this approach is the right fit for you. No pressure, no hard sell, just a real conversation about your goals and what support you need.