Self-confidence isn’t something you’re born with – it’s something you can develop.  For many people who struggle with self-confidence, there’s a big, glaring factor standing in their way.  Today, I’m going to share an obstacle to self-confidence that often hides in plain sight, and how you can overcome it.

Introduction: Your Beliefs Are Running the Show

Imagine two people in the same situation—let’s say a career opportunity arises that requires stepping outside their comfort zone.

One person immediately thinks, “I’m not ready for this. I don’t have the skills.” They hesitate, overthink, and ultimately let the opportunity pass.

The other person thinks, “I can figure this out.” They take action, apply, and grow into the role. Same opportunity. Different beliefs. Completely different outcomes.

What’s happening here?

In a word, it’s science.

Your beliefs about yourself, your abilities, and your potential serve as an internal decision-making filter. They shape what you notice, how you interpret situations, and ultimately, what actions you take (or don’t take). If your beliefs are rooted in principles like self-doubt, self-criticism, or self-limitation, they’ll quietly shape your reality in ways that keep you playing small.

The good news? Beliefs aren’t facts—they’re patterns. And you have the power to change them.

How Your Brain Uses Beliefs as a Filter

Your brain is constantly bombarded with information. To manage this overwhelming influx, it relies on mental shortcuts—beliefs—to efficiently determine what’s relevant and how to respond.

This process is so automatic that it often happens on a subconscious level, without you even realizing it.

Here’s how this works:

• Your brain develops beliefs based on past experiences, repetition, and reinforcement.
• These beliefs become mental filters, shaping what you notice and how you interpret situations.
• Your brain automatically seeks out evidence to confirm your beliefs (a phenomenon known as confirmation bias).
• The more a belief is reinforced, the more it solidifies in your brain (through neural pathways) and guides future decisions.

Let’s look at a simple example:

• Belief: “I’m terrible at public speaking.”
• Thought: “People will judge me if I mess up.”
• Feeling: Fear.
• Action: You avoid speaking opportunities, don’t raise your hand in meetings, or rush through a presentation nervously.  Maybe you even overprepare for routine meetings or presentations, but still end up doubting yourself because you’re so afraid you’ll mess up.
• Result: You don’t build confidence in public speaking, reinforcing the original belief.

Your beliefs aren’t just opinions—they are operating instructions for your brain. If those instructions tell your brain that you’re “not good enough” or “not capable,” then your decisions and behaviors will largely reflect that.

Why Your Brain Creates Limiting Beliefs (It’s Probably Not What You Think)

If you struggle with self-confidence, it can be easy to feel frustrated with yourself—Why can’t I just believe in myself? But here’s something important to know: At some point in your past, your brain created these beliefs as a form of self-protection.

Many self-limiting beliefs originate from childhood, past failures, or difficult experiences. Part of your brain’s job is to keep you safe, maintain the status quo, and expend as little energy as possible.

So, if taking a risk in the past led to embarrassment, failure, or rejection, your brain may have formed a belief like “I’m not good at this” or “I shouldn’t put myself out there.” This belief was an attempt to protect you from future discomfort and potential rejection, avoid seemingly risky changes, and conserve your energy.

The problem is, while these beliefs may have helped to protect you in the past, they are often outdated and no longer serve you. Instead of keeping you safe, they now keep you stuck.

This is why self-compassion is so critical in the process of changing beliefs. Rather than criticizing yourself over your self-doubt (which can add an extra layer of suffering), recognize that your brain was simply doing the best it could at the time. And now, you have the opportunity to rewrite those old patterns.

Breaking the Cycle: How to Rewire Limiting Beliefs for Confidence

Changing deep-seated beliefs doesn’t happen overnight, but with intentional effort, you can retrain your brain to support self-confidence and growth. Here’s how:

1. Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

The first step is becoming aware of the subconscious beliefs running in the background. Ask yourself:

• What negative thoughts do I often have about myself?
• What situations make me hesitate or second-guess myself?
• If I had to put my self-doubt into a sentence, what would it say? (Example: “I’m not capable of success.”)

2. Question the Belief

Once you’ve identified a limiting belief, challenge it:

• Is this belief objectively true? (Would it hold up in court?)
• What evidence contradicts this belief?
• If a friend had this belief about themselves, what would I tell them?

3. Work to Replace It with an Empowering Belief

Instead of “I’m not capable,” what if you started telling yourself, “I am learning and growing every day?”

Instead of “I always fail,” what if you shifted to, “Every setback is a lesson that makes me stronger?”

4. Practice Thinking the New Belief and Take Small, Aligned Actions

Your brain believes what you repeatedly do, and thoughts repeated become beliefs. So, practice thinking the new belief, and practice acting as if it is true.

If you want to believe you’re confident, practice speaking up.

If you want to believe you’re capable, take on new challenges – even small ones.

Each small win rewires your brain to support the new belief.

Why Coaching Helps You Shift Beliefs Faster

Rewiring your beliefs takes time, effort, and commitment, and it can be hard to see your own mental blind spots. This is why coaching accelerates the process and shortens the growth curve—it provides structured guidance, accountability, and powerful tools to help you change your thinking at a deep level.

If you’re ready to start shifting your beliefs about yourself, a simple first step is using the 5-Minute Confidence Anchor. This quick, neuroscience-based practice will help you create a daily mindset shift to start retraining your brain for self-confidence. The best part? It only takes five minutes a day.

Click here to download the 5-Minute Confidence Anchor and start rewiring your mindset today.