For decades, I struggled with impostor syndrome, second-guessing myself, and feeling like I wasn’t truly “good enough” despite my accomplishments. On the outside, I looked confident, but behind closed doors, I constantly questioned whether I was capable, deserving, or just lucky.

Honestly, I thought impostor syndrome and perfectionism were a life sentence for me.  I knew deep down that I was meant for more, but I didn’t know where to start or how to get help to overcome my internal obstacles.

Everything changed for me when I learned about the science of confidence, and how to leverage that knowledge to extinguish impostor syndrome and build lasting, life-changing self-confidence.

Self-Doubt Was Holding Me Back (and It Didn’t Have to)

What made my struggles with confidence even more confusing was that I did feel confident in some areas of my life:

• I knew intellectually that I was competent in my job,
• I could speak up when I really needed to, and
• I did have moments of true self-assurance at times.

But deep down, when it came to bigger opportunities, stepping outside my comfort zone, or worrying about what others thought of me, self-doubt always crept back in.

The wakeup call I couldn’t ignore

One of my biggest wake-up calls came when an opportunity for a promotion opened up at my old job – the job I eventually left to run my coaching business full-time.

I really wanted the promotion. Several of my coworkers told me I’d be great at it. My boss even encouraged me to apply. Objectively, I had the skills and experience to succeed.

But then came the doubts.

Almost against my will, I started focusing only on my flaws and all the ways I could fail. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I would feel if I applied and didn’t get the job. I’d be mortified. I’d feel like I couldn’t show my face at work anymore.

So instead of applying, I let fear make the decision for me. I convinced myself that maybe I didn’t really want the job after all. It was easier to stay where I was than to risk rejection.

I didn’t apply for the job, and obviously, I didn’t get the promotion.  I’d allowed fear to talk me out of the opportunity.

The thing is, this wasn’t the first time self-doubt had held me back.

This pattern had shown up in my life, time and time again. Whether it was:

• Doing a 180 on my focus in grad school because I was afraid to fail,
• Putting off important work because my desire to produce “perfect” results was overwhelming, or
• Talking myself out of personal and professional opportunities that excited me,

…I was constantly getting in my own way. The promotion opportunity was just one of many occasions throughout my life where self-doubt held me back.  It was also the one that made me realize something had to change.

The Science of Self-Confidence: What I Discovered

I used to think that confidence was something you were either good at, or not. For much of my life, I thought people who were confident just felt that way naturally. I was wrong.

Through neuroscience-based coaching, I learned that self-confidence isn’t an inherent trait—it’s a skill you can build. And the reason I struggled wasn’t because I lacked the ability to build self-confidence, but because my brain was wired to prioritize safety and certainty over growth.

Here’s what I discovered:

• Your brain reinforces what you repeatedly think. The more I told myself, I’m not ready or I’ll probably fail, the more my brain accepted those thoughts as true.
• Fear of failure is just your brain trying to protect you. My self-doubt wasn’t a personal flaw—it was my brain’s way of avoiding the possibility of emotional pain.
• You don’t need to “feel ready” to take action. Confidence comes from action, not from waiting to feel 100% prepared.  And self-confidence comes from trusting yourself to take care of yourself, no matter what happens.

How I Rewired My Brain for Self-Confidence

Once I understood how self-confidence actually works, I started applying the same neuroscience-based techniques that I now use with my coaching clients and in my on-demand workshops. Here are the three biggest shifts that helped me transform my mindset.

1. Recognizing Thought Patterns & Questioning My Beliefs

I became aware of my self-talk and the self-doubt narratives that had been running on autopilot for years. Instead of just accepting my negative thoughts as truth, I started questioning them:

• “Would this belief hold up in court – would it be provable beyond a reasonable doubt?”
• “If I DID fail, how could I choose to respond to ensure I’d be okay in the end?”
• “What would I tell a friend who was thinking this about themselves?”

Every time I caught myself thinking, I’m not ready or I’m not good enough, I chose to replace it with more supportive thoughts like, I’m learning and growing every day and I don’t have to have all the answers.

2. Building Self-Confidence Through Small, Calculated Risks

I realized I had been waiting to feel “ready” before taking action. But self-confidence isn’t something you wait for—it’s something you build by taking small, intentional risks and managing your mindset along the way.

So, I started practicing:

• Speaking up in meetings and social situations, instead of overthinking what I wanted to say.
• Trying new things that got me out of my comfort zone.
• Doing things that made me a little bit uncomfortable on purpose, just to prove to myself that I could handle them.

With each small win, my brain started associating action with growth instead of action with fear.

3. Using Neuroscience-Based Tools and Exercises to Create an Anchor in Confidence

This was the game-changer.

I used neuroscience-based self-coaching tools to do daily mental exercises to rewire my thought patterns away from self-doubt and toward self-confidence. As an example, The 5-Minute Confidence Anchor includes exercises that are similar to the ones I used to build my own self-confidence.

These simple, neuroscience-backed techniques helped me shift my mindset in real-time and reinforce self-confidence as a habit. (They’re the same tools I now teach in my on-demand workshops.)

Where I Am Now: The Other Side of Self-Doubt

Today, I no longer feel trapped by impostor syndrome.

Now, I trust myself. I take action without waiting to feel “ready.” I don’t let fear of failure dictate my decisions.

And the best part? I know that confidence isn’t magic. It’s science.

Does self-doubt still creep in now and then?

Absolutely. I’m still human, after all!

However, I know how to handle it, and I don’t let it stop me.

If you feel stuck in self-doubt and impostor syndrome the way I once did, know this: It’s not your fault, and you are absolutely capable of changing your mindset. You just need the right tools.

How I Can Help You Build Your Self-Confidence

If you want to start breaking free from self-doubt, my on-demand workshops walk you through the exact steps I used to rewire my mindset and build lasting self-confidence.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. The tools are here for you.

Get instant access to my confidence-building workshops here.

Or, if you want personalized support to accelerate your growth, my 1:1 coaching is designed to help you rewire limiting beliefs and build unshakable self-confidence.

Book a coaching enrollment call today and let’s talk about where you could be in 6 weeks or 6 months with more confidence.